she - and sympathy

Empathy: Identification with and understanding of another's feelings and situation.

Not to be confused with...

Sympathy: An expression of pity.   

I remember when I learned about empathy as a student in nursing school.  The concept stuck out for some reason.  It caught and held my attention.  I recall even who taught it to me,  where exactly I sat and beside whom, what I had on, what I felt about it and then I recall how very much I hoped, deep inside of me, that I possessed the character trait that would allow me to practice it often in my future.  It was a monumental moment for me, but I never imagined empathy would become a part of my everyday existence here at home; where I love, live with, do my best to parent my little gift of a child, my little Aspie girl.  

I've come to understand that kids with Asperges Syndrome tend to have a hard time understanding the feelings and emotional displays of others, though they may actually long to.  It can be extremely confusing for them and well, I can see for myself that confused is not all that wonderful a way to feel.   For her constant confusion, I have sympathy.


My daughter's inability to place herself in other's shoes, gives me constant call for putting my own self into her precious, unusual, sometimes uncomfortable little boots.  


Michael J. Fox once said at a conference where I saw him speak, "Parkinson's is the gift that keeps on taking" and I felt sympathetic toward him as he vibrated across the stage.  It made me wince.  I think I closed my eyes so that I didn't have to watch him, in all his beautiful agony.   He is remarkable.  I now proudly say, "Asperges coming into my life is the gift that keeps on giving".  It gives me the opportunity and chance to be ever mindful of the feelings of others, including and especially the one who can not feel for others and it allows me to practice empathy, helps me remain flexible, be hopeful, stay open.  It pushes me to prioritize and I find that in particular a true blessing; to be reminded of what is truly important to me, does me the great favor of noticing what simply is less so.  


My different child and I have become over the past few years quite Simpatico:  We work well together, understanding what affects one, correspondingly affects the other.
I can't ask for sympathy, when empathy gives me a closeness to another human being who is so full of love and light that her mere existence and presence in my life makes sweeter my days and softens me to the simple joy of understanding her as well as those around me.
I love my life with her.  I love the startling yet small surprises.  I love her and I cherish the challenge, the gifts of Asperges.   I'm it's biggest fan, in fact.

I'll be the greatest fan of your amazing life, my Girl.