"You hugged me really hard", my older brother said as he smiled and so I hugged him harder and smiled back while we danced to Just The Way You Look Tonight.
The hardest hug could not ever convey the love I feel, nor can words... and so perhaps this is why I've struggled for days, wanting to write about it, but unable to.
I'm confounded at times by the love I feel for my siblings.
Having just been together, all five of us, for several days straight, I am more aware then I've been in a long while, about the depth of my feelings for them.
What is most remarkable is this - it doesn't matter whether these people are attractive or funny, though they are.
It's not about what they can do for me, though they do so much.
It's not how they treat me, though I feel loved and adored by them.
It's not what they do, who they are, what they say...
It is something deeper
roots under a tree
sand beneath the sea
water inside a cloud
barely detectable portions of larger things
These people I've loved my whole life, can burp, fart, laugh, fail, succeed, fall apart, blossom and it doesn't matter at all. Nothing, no state of being alters my love for them.
I don't know if it's this way in all families. I do know this - it should be.
It's nature.
It's the most natural thing and anything that goes against nature is discord and though one can survive in such circumstance, I'm going so far as to say that I truly believe one will not entirely thrive while not syncing with nature and it's course.
Brotherhood, sisterhood
Even when I'm unaware, not present to the this easily forgotten, but base relationship in my life, this love I have inside of me for my sisters and brothers is forever part of everything I do.
Like a steering wheel in a car, they guide me through life, subconsciously at times and more blatantly at others.
They are my airbag
my sleeping bag
my mirror
my escape hatch
my memory
my confessional
my match stick
my crutch
my starting line
my finish line
my to go box
my swiss army knife
They are Winnie the Pooh, Planet of the Apes, Wide World of Sports, Sonny &Cher, Saturday Night Live.
They are most of my firsts and much of my middle and I rest happily in the certainty that they'll be there in my lasts.
My forevers
My forevers
...my barely detectable portions
