Somebody's Mother

Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  Its kind of a goofy feeling to be inadvertently involved in a national holiday.  To be the recipient/ partial cause of celebration is not at all something I'm comfortable with.  Yet, being a mother is as natural to me as breathing and as necessary to me as eating, often the direct cause of my need for sleeping and sometimes leads to drinking.

I look back at my life, the one I led before; its like watching a film of someone I knew extremely well, but never truly was.  I can't recall doing those things I did and with whom I did them, yet I have them all, all those deeds are deeply imprinted on my brain, stapled to my memories, live footage runs through me bringing back waves of sounds, sights, scents, tastes, moving me always.  But it's smeared and foggy even it's familiarity.  The only thing fresh inside my mind are the days I've lived with these two people I gave birth to.  The ones who grew in me and came from me have somehow managed to actually create me.

My own existence seems to begin with theirs.

Through them all things are made real and I am real, just now, in my maternal state.

I'm mom; above and before, more then and beyond anything else that I am, and I am many things, but most of all, I'm mommy.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers of the world.  To all of us who were, but never really existed until they came, welcome to your national holiday.

To you, my two little, very worthy causes for celebration; so aptly titled and just now dedicated from me to you, with all my love...,