If It Takes Forever...

I think about the music my parents used to play. 
How I loved it.   How I knew and still know the words to every song from my very early childhood on...even the most obscure, even the golden oldies so old their gold is now patina, tinted green with age.  

Theres a constant soundtrack for every event throughout my entire life.
As far back as I can recall, musics playing.

There were Lay Ladies Laying on Big Brass Beds
Special Angels
Tomatoes-Tomatos 
Little Surfer Girls
Tiny Dancers
Guys With a Pin to Burst Your Bubble
Witchy Women
Wise Men Saying Only Fools Rush In
Brown Eyed Girls and Sweet Caroline


I'd like to take this opportunity to say a very heartfelt F YOU to Andy Williams, Neil Diamond, The Lettermen,  Johnny Mathis, those Beach Boys, and even Elvis.  The list goes on and on and on.   
The Beatles get an exemption on account of Back in the USSR, Happiness is a Warm Gun and Rocky Raccoon, but everyone else is quite likely in large part to blame for my heightened sense of romantisim, my unrealistic expectations and my over emphasis on LOVE and the act of being IN LOVE, which I sometimes think is truly just an act -  but, ah, not really.

I look back on the love I've known and felt, not the Love Love, not the less complicated kind like I have with my precious kids, my sibs, my pals, my folks, my pups.  Love I have for chocolate, dry chardonnay, white roses, sunset - those loves, well they're simple, they're a given, they fill me up.   What I puzzle over is the other love, the kind those mushy songs taught me about, lead me to obsess over, encouraged me to wait on, believe in, hold my breath till it came, to die for...

I look back at ALL the loves in my life.
I think about my first love and how easy that was, till I decided to complicate it, probably because it seemed too easy and as the songs say - easy love can't be real.
I think about the loves that followed, flirtations, distractions, devotions and the heart ache as well as the bliss of every relationship I've had.
I think about where I've put my energy in more recent years and on whom I pinned my hopes and why.
How I'd convince myself that I was over someone only to find that no matter what and no matter who else came along, I'd always return to just that one; that more then likely unrealistic, over emphasized,  highly romanticized and as many of those old and plenty of new love songs imply, that potentially hazardous love.

Do people make Valentine Resolutions?  If not, then how about I start the ball, or in this case, how about I start the heart rolling?

How about I resolve to never again hold out, hang on and pine for anyone who does and says anything other then.... 

Anything You Need - You Got it 

And by the way - Have I told you lately that I love you?   
 I do.
Happy Valentine's Day.