Piece of cake

Piece of cake...

Icing on top...

Eating it too?

Am I?

At Disneyland today I actually yawned.  I did.  Sacrilege - don't you think?   It is.  It's not right.  
H A P P I E S T place on earth.  All that time and effort put into something to make it more then amazing and I yawned.  
I'd been there before.   But you know I've been everywhere before, or so it feels.

So what is it?  What does it take?    How great does something have to be to keep my attention?  Seriously, what cake is it which will make me want to eat the whole darn piece, cherry on top and all?   Where is the icing on this fabulous cake which I won't be able to resist?

I realize that what I crave isn't dessert; I want the Whole Enchilada.   I want it all.  I don't selfishly want to just have the sweet stuff.  I want the meal, the protein, the starchy carbs (just a little) and all those good for you vegetables.  I want gravy, I need salt and pepper and I'll do the dishes.   I want the meal, the combo.  I want the life, the grocery list, the cart to push.  I want to crack the eggs, measure up the flour,  pour on the sugar.   I want the work.  I want.  I do.   I don't consider having my cake enough. 


I used to think "lonely" was an embarrassing word.   I thought it meant that no one cared for you, but thats not always the case.    I can be in a room full of people who I know and love and still be lonely.  I can live a cake filled life and not be full.  I want to be in the bakery with the pastry chef who makes me notice how worthwhile the thousand empty calories are and I need them to want the flipping cake as well.

I want to have my cake...and to share it too.