what we know, when we know it

...after the unexpected pleasure of sipping coffee pretty much all darn day long, I vibrate happily down the sidewalk.
I thought about my life and the path I move along.  How I didn't predict it and how I have wished it was different and then on a day such as this, how I'm so overwhelmingly grateful for this exact path, worn out as it seems at times, there is no place I'd rather be then here, walking this way, in these shoes, with these companions and all my co-travelers.  

Pace quickening, heartbeat accelerating, palms sweating; with every step closer I feel the hopefulness spread through me, like the smile spreading across my face.

I am excited to see him and whats even better is, he is excited to see me.  Excited, not relieved, but just plain old vanilla excited.  Wahoo!

I realize it's too soon to tell, but then again, I always know exactly what I feel the moment I feel it.  

I'd save a whole lot of time by just taking what I see when I see it, believing that it is what I want.  Why do I hesitate when it comes to trusting my guttural decision making skills?  Why do I insist on over speculating, questioning whether or not it's just right, when I tend to know right away what is right?

I know who I love, how to dress, what to order, where to live and which is best, but the knowledge is so instantaneous that I often can't trust it.  It should be harder, right?    

I lamented about a decision for my boy and I wondered what was right and if and how and why, but I knew pretty much from the moment I saw it, that the place I'd place him, would be a fit...and it is.

Bingo.

He's back...

Holding hands, chatting away, watching for cars in the parking lot, but animatedly discussing the day and how it slipped away, this n that, that n this.

"Buckle up", I say

"Your car smells new mom".  I laugh, because it does NOT and yet in a strange way it does, everything feels and smells and just seems new today.

"Ooh.  Can I have this mommy?"   

"Why Baby?  Are you thirsty?",  I ask him as he drains the contents of my Smart Water bottle into his very tiny tummy.

"No, not thristy", followed by a belch.   Then so matter of factly he adds, "I'm going to fill this with concrete then shoot it out of a cannon"; said with all the confidence and conviction of a boy who actually owned a cannon along with a handy sack of concrete waiting to be mixed back at home.

I steer my car out into the street and smile more.  Smile even bigger then my face.  

"Thats a great idea.  You do that".