I don't want to be watched while I try to figure this out.
I want to explain to them that it's more then just my mindset I'm fighting.
Metal and Steal, muscle and bone are giving me grief.
But in all truth, beyond a nagging, odd discomfort in my leg, my brain simply rejects this skill I'm trying to master.
My brain would much prefer to veto my will and my desire to improve my double unders and improve myself.
It tells me, "This is too hard for you. You don't belong here".
Not only do I have to learn to string them together as I did with my single jumps months ago when I first came to Crossfit , I also have to convince my brain that I do belong here and I'm here to stay.
I will get it right, but I'll have to find something stronger then my brain to say that with.
I'll have to use heart, which is infinitely more powerful then my mind and the rest of my body and those limitations they seem to love to put on me.
Now I watch her.
She's a new mom.
She's an expert here, but today she's more new mother then expert.
She's struggling and I've never seen her struggle.
Is her body, her "new mother's body" giving her grief?
Is her mind fighting against her?
Is she too experiencing a wave of emotion, a discomfort she's not familiar with?
Just seeing her continue on, find ways around the new and strange obstacles she faces, elevates her in my eyes. She's more of a trainer/example to me then she ever was in her most powerful, elite and perfect athletic condition.
While she fights all that she's fighting and who can know what's really inside her, just like who can know what's inside me; my doubt, my insecurity, my screws and rod, my fear and even my unstoppable and sometimes unrealistic hopefulness, I see that we both are battling similar demons, just that they're dressed in different sweatpants.
We'll both get there... heart over mind.
There is no end to the gifts that Crossfit gives me; body, mind and heart.
Thanks Jen and Mark and Aaron, Brandy, Stephanie and also thanks to Bill.
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